As I sit here tonight trying to write my entrance essay for the uummmm-teenth I find myself going back to the age old question of is this really the right path for me. I know deep down that nothing compares to the way I feel and am energized when doing ministry for the good of God’s people. After all that has happened in the past couple of months and I am reminded of how lucky I am to have such amazing family and friends. I find myself debating in my head whether or not this is the next step I want to take in my life. It is taking everything in me right now to trust in God’s will for me and to take this next step in my life and finish preparing to go to seminary and ultimately to do God’s work through my hands. It’s with these doubts that make me question where is this coming from, and as I sit and think about this I keep coming back to the fear of it all. The fear of moving so far away from all my family and most of my friends, of having to do this on my own without someone by my side, of untouched opportunities left behind, of missing out on big milestones in the lives of loved ones, and other smaller fears that are really more excuses to help feed the bigger fears of possible regret and loneliness. As most do I tend to get myself worked up with all the fears and lose sight in the joy, happiness, and comfort that this new path will and has brought me. (Not saying that it will always be a ray of sunshine.) It is with this sense of joy, happiness, comfort and a full heart that my experiences in ministry and life has given me that I pray to God that he calms my fears and leads me down the right path where ever that may lead me, and as I finish my prayers tonight I am singing Here I am Lord... This song just seems to be the most appropriate today and is the one that keeps popping into my head as I sit and think.
No comments:
Post a Comment